I was talking with one of the kids at my work and this is probably the funniest things anybody has ever said to me at work (note: he was very drunk when he said this).
So you know I’m a straight man, Dan. But there’s this guy who has a crush on me. Whatever, I’m a straight man. But I love people a lot, right? I just have so much love for everybody and maybe, if it came down to it, if this let this guy know that he was loved, then maybe I would fuck him. Maybe I would fuck him, and Mike and Darren… But don’t worry, Dan, I’m not going to fuck you.
Wow. I’ve never had a youth reassure me that he wouldn’t fuck me! I was trying hard to keep a straight face but it was pretty impossible. Thankfully he was too drunk to remember any of this conversation in the morning.